Training thoughts

Training horses is something i have always found intriguing. How do you convey without words a concept to an animal whose natural response to people is to run far, far away from them (I know the feeling.) It starts off relatively simple. Move away from pressure, stay out of my space. Respect, im the boss. Every horse i have ever dealt with comes across these two rules quite quickly. I play games while walking out youngsters. Follow where i go, stop when i do from walk or trot, hell if they are leaping about, when my feet stop, so do theirs. I walk into their space, they move away, a quick flick of the rope to their chest will set them moving if they dont. My 3yo colt flies out of my way as soon as i turn and walk towards him, he has the respect i need him to have for me, and no matter how silly he is being he is well aware of where i am and comes nowhere near me. Once you get on board however the second rule changes, they cant get out of my space and id rather stay in it and in the saddle. I still want him to move away from pressure, my leg, my hand/bit aid, and i try to make a reward out of a release of said pressure. Horse drops onto bit, hand lightens. Steps away from leg, stop pushing ect. Then it gets more complicated. Hold your head here, move over there, lighter, collect more, engage, balance yourself and me. I have to get these messages across without speech, and im still learning myself. I try hard never to blame my horses for anything that goes wrong, (except sasha, he knows his job and i know mine, but he still tells me to go f**k myself)at some point i failed to communicate what i wanted fully, and wires were crossed. Currently having this problem with tease, but along the way im learning a lot.

I miss jumping

There, I said it. Our school isn't usable in winter,far too wet and slippery to ride in, nevermind jump, but I'm missing it so much! I know my loopy pony would probably be more like this at the moment

(yes that video is us in winter. Fence is a 120 oxer)

I can't wait for the warm dry weather so we can go back to doing what we love most. Should be good this year :)

Get on and ride

Ever have those days where you get on your horse and just, ya know, ride? Like properly, that great feeling where everything connects, your horse seems to understand, seeks a light contact and works beautifully, and you can't seem to do anything wrong?

Now imagine the opposite, and you pretty much have my ride today. I had a bolting leaning head tossing nightmare, who tensed, leaned, ran and threw herself in the air at every oppotune moment. I couldn't keep still, or find my focal point and get to grips with her, so getting anything soft and nice took a long time, and I called it a day immediately after. I know its in there somewhere, I'm just not sure how to unlock it. Horses, who would have them :/

Am I mad?

Looking at my horse is like looking at a mirror. I see myself reflected back in his actions, his personality and his moods. You may read this and think I'm anthropomorpising, yet I have 4 horses and sasha is the only one I can say this is true for.

Sasha appears grumpy, miserable a lot of the time, often withdrawn or aloof. He doesnt care for company a lot, and only has a few he will allow into his group. All others are chased away. He appears calm and unmoved by anything, but prone to outbursts of complete randomness, suddenly rearing, leaping or bolting at nothing. He hates attention, unless he is unwell, where he seeks out comfort.

I suffer from hypomania, a lesser form of bipolar. I'm often depressed, withdrawn and grumpy, and want nothing to do with the world. I hate attention and have a few close friends in my group. The only time I seek affection is when I'm unwell.

Sparky, mabon and tease each have their own personalities, some of their parts match mine, but none fit like sasha does. I believe he is my heart horse, the one that matches my soul, and I owe him a great deal.

On life and death

Today a friend of mine lost a pony she bred. He was 4 years old, and irreparably horrendously lame and wasn't fixable. RIP little man. 2 years ago we lost another pony, a colt foal at 3 days old. His name was jd.
Jd was born around 6am on the 18th April 2012. He was the gorgeous silvery colour black ponies start out with a grumpy little attitude and an inability to find his first milk. He was found at 11am the same morning, struggling to stand and looking disorientated. To cut a long story short, myself and a few close friends spent the next 2 days camped at the yard, waking every two hours to make sure he could stand and had eaten/dranj something. By the 3rd day, jd was finally diagnosed as septicemic. He was given one last boost to try and help him pull through, and an ultimatum that we would probably lose him in the night. He died at 10pm on the 20th April, resting over my knee, with no vets around. The feeling of his slow breath stopping and his heartbeat fading away haunts me to this day, I find myself having nightmares about him, the terrible feeling of life leaving his poor, tiny body. Each time someone or something I know dies jd comes back to me, and one day I know it won't be jd I hold when he fades away, it will be sasha, and he will take most of my heart with him. I dread that day. I have needed to say this out loud for a long time, but I don't know who to say it to. How do you even start a conversation like that?

R.I.P jd, and chesney. Two actual brothers reunited. Look after him chez